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An atheist in the woods

February 24, 2010

This was a joke that was sent to me and I thought it was post worthy.

An atheist was walking through the woods, what majestic trees, what powerful rivers, what beautiful animals, he said to himself.

As he was walking alongside the river, he heard a rustling in the bushes behind him.

He turned to look and saw a 7-foot grizzly bear charge toward him, he ran as fast as he could up the path. He looked over his shoulder and saw that the bear was closing in on him.

He looked over his shoulder again and the bear was even closer. He tripped and fell on the ground.

He rolled over to pick himself up but saw that the bear was right on top of hi, reaching for him with his left paw and raising his right paw to strike him.

At that moment the athiest cried out: OH MY GOD! Time stopped, the bear froze, and the forest went silent.

As a bright light shone upon the man, a voice came ou the sky. ‘You deny my existence for all these years, teach others I don’t exist, and even credit creation to cosmic accident.’

‘Do you expect me to help you out this predicament?’

‘Am I to count you as a believer?’

The atheist looked directly into the light and said: It would be hypocritical of me to ask you to treat me as a Christian now, but perhaps you could make the bear a Christian?

‘Very well’, said the vocie.

The light went out, the sounds of the forest resumed, and the bear dropped his right paw, brought both paws together, bowed his head and spoke:

Lord bless this food, which I am about to receive from Thy bounty through Christ our Lord. Amen.

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5 Comments leave one →
  1. February 24, 2010 6:18 AM

    Remember the lesson this ‘joke’ teaches, boys and girls: If the atheist had said ‘holy cow!’, a Hindu god would have come down and then allowed the magical talking bear to eat him.

    • February 24, 2010 6:23 AM

      Hindu god? Are you atheist or not?

      • February 24, 2010 7:32 AM

        And had the atheist said “by Jupiter!”, the same scenario, but the Roman god would have set the bear on him.

        What is the point of this joke? To suggest that phrases which have worked their ways into the cultural lexicon in some way mean that the religion they originate from is accurate? That bears can talk? That a deity will set a wild animal to eat you if you don’t believe in him without any prior evidence? That saying ‘oh my god’ will get the god to finally show evidence?

      • February 24, 2010 8:55 AM

        It’s safe to say that you didn’t like this joke, huh? I really don’t think this joke is worth debating over, but I would be willing to debate on a better topic; if you like.

  2. May 5, 2010 5:18 AM

    Really funny. . . . . . . . . .

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